And Now, Back to Bob Costas...
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Description: A look at the 1996 Olympic Games from the rec.humor.funny archives.
And now, back to Bob Costas... [rec.humor.funny] (topical, chuckle, copyrighted) ATLANTA (KRT) -- And now for NBC's impression of the Olympics on TV: TRUMPETS: BOM! BOM! BOM-BOM BOM BOM BOM! BOB COSTAS: Good evening, and as you can tell by the sound of the Olympic Theme Song that we play almost as much as we show Kerri Strug's historic vault, it's time for our broadcast of The Recently Videotaped Olympic Games Featuring Americans. We're going to start by taking you right to the track-and-field stadium, where the men's 100-meter dash is about to get under way, despite the fact that it actually happened four hours ago. TRACK COMMENTATOR: Bob, this promises to be an exciting race, featuring Americans. COSTAS: And what are the obstacles that these Americans have overcome to create a Human Interest Factor for our broadcast? TRACK COMMENTATOR: Bob, from left to right, they have overcome psoriasis, vertigo and a bad allergy to vinaigrette dressing. COSTAS: We'll come back to the men's 100-meter final, but right now we're going to replay the video of Kerri Strug, an American, overcoming her ankle to make her courageous vault. (Kerri Strug vaults.) COSTAS: What a human moment! Time for a commercial. ANNOUNCER: We're IBM. We're a giant corporation with vast computer expertise. That's why we're in charge of keeping track of all the statistics for these, the Olympic Games of 1953. Thank you. BOM! BOM! BOMBOM BOM BOM BOM! COSTAS: Now we're going to take you to women's beach volleyball, where the sun is shining brightly despite the fact that it is now 10:37 p.m. on the East Coast. BEACH VOLLEYBALL COMMENTATOR: Thanks, Bob. This is Holly McPeak, an American, and as you can see in this digitized, computer-enhanced, ultra-slow-motion Beach Cam closeup shot, she has overcome cellulite. COSTAS: I'll say. When is she going to serve? BEACH VOLLEYBALL COMMENTATOR: She'll be serving in about 4 seconds, Bob. COSTAS: I'm sorry, but we don't have tha
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