The Book of the In-Laws
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Scan day: 16 February 2014 UTC
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Description: A parody of the Book of the Law.
Liber Call Me AL vel vel, now. sub figura skating "The Book of the In-Laws" 1. Hi! the manipulation of a Nut. 2. Company of heaven exposed; film at eleven. 3. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry is a Star. Big Deal. 4. Every number is infinite; fire thy accountant. 5. I'd like a volunteer from the audience at this point -- you, the Warrior Lord of Thebes in the front row. 6. I've Hadit up to here. 7. Attention K-Mart Shoppers! It is revealed to !Who*vast? the minister of Har-Po-Marx. 8. The Khabs is in the Khu, right next to the peanut butter. 9. Worship thou the Khabs, and the Khu will take care of itself. 10. Let my servants be few and secret; they shall have enough problems without publicity. 11. These are fools that men adore; for example, Vanna White comes to mind. 12. Come forth with a fifth and take thy fill of Old Overcoat; thou shalt see stars! 13. I am above you and in you. I am behind you and beside you. I am hiding behind the curtains. I know when you are sleeping, I see when you're awake. I know if you feel joy or woe so feel joy for goodness sake. 14. There once was a Goddess, Nuit, Who dated a God named Hadit. When Ankh-af-na-khonsu Saw what they were up to He shouted "Hail Ra-hoor-khuit!" 15. You may already have won the priesthood of infinite space, a Winnebago, all power for your wife, or one of 663 other valuable prizes in this Aeon's Prophecy Clearing House Giveaway! 16. For he is sunburned, and she is a lunatic. He plays with matches, and she wanders around in the dark. 17. But for you, no such luck. 18. Look out! There's a snake on your head! 19. Oh, bend over, and I shall drive thee home! 20. Say the secret word and the Dove shall drop down. 21. If the God and the Adorer call, say unto them that I am out of the office; they shall not see me. For I and my Lord Hadit shall be in a meeting verily until the end of time. My Prophet shall call their Prophet. 22. Now, therefore, I have an unlisted phone number, which shall be revealed to my prophet when at last
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| Page title: | The Book of the In-Laws |
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