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Seymour's Laws

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Description: Some laws that apply mostly to high school bands.
Seymour's Laws [rec.humor.funny] Back in high school band we had music folders which had "Frederick Fennel's points for performance" printed inside which were supposed to make us better musicians - things like "Support each note. Listen for tone." In memory of a graduated section member, for two years the baritone horn section of the North East High School band lived by: Seymour's Laws [Explanations are bracketed when needed.] 1. When in doubt, play "The Baby Elephant Walk." 2. When in doubt, and you don't know "The Baby Elephant Walk," play LOUD. 3. When told to play softer, play louder. 4. When told not to play "The Baby Elephant Walk, or to play very soft, don't play at all. 5. Make sure all conversations during band involve music... for example, talk about Michael Jackson: "How bout that San Fransisco flight?" 6. Blow off all year EXCEPT in preformances. 7. Support the Blades [local hockey team]. 8. Mr. T is your idol. Watch "The A-Team" every Tuesday - even if it means taking a tv to a basketball game. [Guess this dates these a bit] 9. Make "Where's Chuck?" your slogan. [Chuck was the old band director; the replacement was not well-liked] 10. Pro wrestling takes precedence over all band activities. 11. In any fundraising activity, limit yourself to 10% of your quota. 12. Practice good breath support. Blasting IS good tone. 13. Your horn is a school instrument. Leave it at school, where it belongs. 14. Chair placement is not important -- try to be last. 15. Your horn is your best friend. Tread it with care, or else you won't be able to play as loud. 16. Nothing is illegal, as long as you don't get caught. 17. The C-scale is as follows: E, F, G, A, B, C, D, E. [A nice harmony] 18. Respect no authority. 19. The only reason you are in pep band is to get into basketball games free. 20. Respect your fellow section member's choice of solos. Don't play during his, and he won't play during
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